Distracted by Destrachans... Dastardlyly

So I'm a little late getting today's post... um... posted. I've been trying to work on my taxes pretty much since I got home from work. It seems like they get more difficult to do every year. I think it probably goes without saying that I hate them. Even on the rare occasion in which I receive a refund, I still hate doing them. There is no joy in the quest for a yearly check from the federal government. It is time consuming, boring, and way too tedious. Plus, it's time that could be much better wasted elsewhere.

      I've been wasting a lot of time over the last two weeks. I went to a professional development conference for five days in New Orleans last week, and the week before that I took off of work for a little old fashioned Spring Break. This gave me a plethora of free time. And how did I use that wonderful, wonderful time? Well, my wife and have reached the 90% completion mark in LEGO: Harry Potter for Wii.  That's something, right? Pokemon Black and White came out a few weeks ago, so that's devoured an hour here and there each day. Plus there was all that spring cleaning. Sure, it needed to be done, but it made it that much easier to convince myself I needed time to "relax" and let my mind slide into a gentle torpor watching Lego bricks swirl in a purple haze while I filled my pie-hole with salty snacks. I did do quite a bit of reading, and I won't denigrate any amount of time spent doing so. I read three books while I was in New Orleans alone. What else was I gonna do?

      Well... write for one thing. But I didn't even take my laptop with me. Here I am pretending to be a writer, and I'm not even writing! Not with any regularity at least. I'm finding it way too easy to become distracted by "important" things like chores (yes, my wife gives me chores... otherwise I would never do anything around the house), getting my taxes done on time, catching Kyurem (no small feat at level 75), working on work stuff, spending time with my family, bathing a couple of times a week, planning minor remodeling jobs for around the house, getting the oil and filter changed on my car, spending entirely too much time "on the pot" (hey, when you're comfortable and playing Angry Birds, there's not much reason to get up), designing business cards, and picking my toenails.

     Sure, some of those things just need doin'. For me, though, it's way too easy to let them all take shotgun while writing sits in the back window seat of the mini-van right behind the captain's seat opposite the door... no one wants that seat (unless you're spry enough to crawl over the seat and out the trunk door... that's always fun). My wife has been re-writing about two chapters a day for a week now and I secretly hate her for it. Because here I am writing a blog and thinking about how cool it would be to ride a dinosaur, while she's actually getting it done. I finished editing my second draft two weeks ago, but have I started on following re-write? Nope. It's sitting there waiting for me, and every once and a while I hear it mumble on about me being a "liar" and a "failure" and that I have "bad breath."

     The point is: it's way too easy to get distracted, and if I'm not writing then I'm not a writer. Simple as that.

     Now excuse me while I go eat some Hamburger Helper and re-write Chapter 1.

GEEKHAVEN #4

World Building or Idea Hoarding?

My wife and I have been doing some spring cleaning lately. In fact, we spent the majority of our spring break doing just that. I've been busy hanging pot racks in the kitchen, taking naps, organizing the garage, eating, and... well, I'm sure I did a few other things too. Meanwhile my wife has been a blur of motion, whizzing about the house with arms full of collected clutter, rearranging entire rooms with a flick of her wrist, and cleaning every inch of carpet and tile (and peel-n-stick laminate) in our home. Somehow, she's also made sure that our 8 month old daughter is constantly happy and giggling and not getting into too much trouble as she crawls around the living room (my daughter crawls around, not my wife).  One of the big areas we have focused on is preparing for a garage sale.  Now I've always been a collector, and I probably always will be.  Therefore I have a ton of junk that no one needs. Sure, some of it I have on shelves to show how cool I am and how much I like Rising Stars, Strange Brew, Marvel Comics, Vikings, Dragons, Pokemon, Star Wars, Disney, Final Fantasy, and GI Joe... so yeah, lots of stuff. However, I also have two tubs of action figures that will likely never see the light of day, and I have five long-boxes crammed full of comics stuffed into our closet. Way too much junk.

     I hang on to all these things under the pretense that I will someday share them with my child(ren) and they will delight in my nerdy-wares.  I dream of the day my daughter and I will have in-depth conversations about gamma radiation and how to properly E.V. train a Gardevoir with a Modest nature (252 Speed/252 S. Attack/4 HP if you were wondering). The truth is, though, I have no idea if she will even care. I cling to these items fiercely thinking that I can somehow force their "value" on someone else.

     So how does this apply to writing? Well, as a fantasy writer, I put a lot of stock into world-building. I've spent ten years creating the world I used for my upcoming novel, the screenplays on my shelf, and the role-playing books (which are still a year or two away from being ready). It is a constantly evolving beast, and I enjoy - probably too much - spinning histories and cultural backgrounds. I also like to drop pieces of this history into my writing. I might mention a series of battles or the destruction of a prominent city in dialogue, or give a glimpse of a ghostly figure sitting by a silo near a dark field. But does anyone care? I've put a lot of work into this world and I love adding its flavors to the scratch from which my stories are made, but how much is too much?

     Honestly, I don't think there's an answer to this. I've had people read my work and say that the added tidbits only make the narrative more real for them. Meanwhile, others often find it distracting because they don't know what the reference means and wish that I would take the time to explain it if I'm going to use it in a story.

     This is where I have to learn to pull out weeds. Like my comic books and action figures, I will likely hold on to most of them. Knowing the value they have to me and thinking that it might be passed on and valued equally by my progeny some day is worth having an overfull closet. But I can also trim the collection down. While I definitely want to pass on my near-complete run of She-Hulk comics (something I do plan to complete someday) and my almost comprehensive collection of Thanos appearances (another goal), there's probably no need for me to keep my run of Darkhawk or my issues of Vortex the Wonder Mule. The hard part will be finding the line between keep and toss when it comes to writing because it is most certainly gray and really pixilated. 

GEEKHAVEN #3

Proclamations in the midst of Social Contracts

Ever since Words with Friends became available on the Android Market I've been taking on all comers.  I love Scrabble, and I REALLY love Speed Scrabble.  Words with Friends is just different enough to cause me pause.  It's like switching from playing loads of SSX Tricky to Tony Hawk 4; similar concept, but the buttons seem all wonky.  My current win rate is around 70 percent, but I might just have to uninstall the game.  At times, it is the most frustrating bit of trash I've ever encountered... EVER!  Here's the thing: there are three types of players who play that game.  1) Scrabble fans - in the world of WWF we're basically the newbs.  We play by the rules, only play words we know, and often suffer great losses to words like "QAT" or "JO."  2) WWF pros - they've played the game so long, they know all the ins and outs.  They look for opportunities to play "QI" at the drop of a hat, and are more than comfortable playing Proper Nouns and all those two-letter words the game allows.  No, don't try looking those words up in a dictionary... they're not there.  But these people "know" them because they've had them used against them a thousand times before.  Sadly, I find myself slipping toward this group with each new match-up... it's the only way to stay competitive sometimes.  3) The Fraggin' Cheaters - Now, there's the obvious cheating - looking up words using a Scrabble dictionary or some website that unscrambles your letters for you - but I hate the people who throw trash at the board to see if it will stick just as much.  Usually, they just hit "Play" until something goes through... and you can always tell.  I've run into "words" recently such as "ATT" and "LEZ."  Seriously?  I even asked the guy who played "LEZ" what it meant.  I'll give you two guesses what his response was.  You also get people playing words that you know didn't come out of their normal vocabulary.  For example, anyone know a five-letter word that is a variation of the traditional spelling of a name for a large German coin?  I do now, cause I looked it up after it was played against me.  I might be able to buy that the person knew the name of a large German coin, but the less-common variation?  These people beat me - handedly - every time we play.  Coincidentally, I don't go out of my way to start games with them. 

                I think writing can be the same way.  I recently read a collection of tips, one each from thirty different published authors.  One of these writers suggested right clicking words throughout your manuscript, substituting a synonym, and then right-clicking the inserted synonym and doing it again.  Now, I'm all for expanding your vocabulary, but I find it very obvious when people have forced words into their text.  So much of writing and what makes good writers stand out is their voice.  As a new writer, how can I expect to develop my own voice if I'm just sitting on a thesaurus?  The expansion of one's vocabulary should be a natural process.  I'm all for word-a-day calendars and the pursuit of new words, but simply forcing a word into a sentence is a very unnatural process.  Perhaps if this were only used in practice on side projects or throw-away flash fiction challenges, this might be a good way of learning new words and expanding your vocabulary over time.  Anyone used this method?  Did it work for you?  A simple "contracted" (two synonym steps away from "yes" according to Microsoft Word) will suffice.

                Ultimately, what it comes down to is this: words should be expressive and help the reader understand what you are trying to show them.  Sometimes it takes one of them-there five dollar words to get your point across, and I'm not saying you shouldn't use them.  My beef is with using big words for the sake of big words.  Words should be used to tell the story.  They should never be crammed into your text just to make yourself look smarter.  Now, if you really think "detritus" is the best word to use, go for it. 

You Should Work on Not Writing Like an Idiot

So, it’s another Monday and it’s been a rough one so far.  My allergies are hitting a bit early this season, and I can barely see the screen thanks to my bleary eyes and the constant spray of phlegm. 

               I am happy to say that I finished my first re-write of my novel.  I’m unhappy to say that I’ve already begun editing that and there are still a ton of errors.  Fortunately, I can focus more on continuity of story and characters this time, rather than the menial task of fixing all of the tiny grammar and typographical errors like when I meant to type “is” but typed “it” instead. 

               I have also asked two of my allies in arms to edit the work for me.  I don’t know about you, but for me, at least, this is a scary thing.  There’s something great about writing and finishing a work, but there’s something else hidden back behind the jubilation, like some dreadful, grungy wall-flower – who may or may not be the P.E. Coach – at a high school dance.  He’s upset because he’s stuck watching over these stupid kids while they rub against each other because no one ever danced like that with him when he was in high school even though he was the sixth string quarterback and now it would be illegal for him to dance like that with high schoolers and women his age think he smells like the inner thigh of a buffalo.  You know what I mean?  Let me explain: Sure, I finished a novel, a very rushed novel.  And now I’ve even finished editing that first draft.  That certainly is something worth celebrating.  Only now I have to let someone read it. 

               Strangely, this is a large benchmark on the way to letting (hopefully) lots of people read it.  It fills me with an odd mixture of regret, anticipation, and jock-itch.  Now, I’ve let people read my stuff before… I’ve had to.  The nature of my graduate program was mostly workshop courses in which we discussed each others' works.  But in those classes, people were still caught up on being nice.  It was the classic formula of one nice thing and two areas that need improvement.  Screw that noise.  Give it to me straight.  I would much rather find out now, while I can still do something about it, where my work falls flat.  Heck, I would even want to know if you honestly thought I should quit altogether.  Sure, I would probably ignore you, but if more than one person honestly told me to give up, I might just consider moving on to greener pastures… like KFC.  (Heck of thing to work at KFC and get free chicken all the time… maybe I should do that anyway)

               While I want honest feedback, I still have trouble detaching fully from the story.  It’s very easy to assume that “they” don’t get it because “they” are chowder heads and it has nothing to do with your perfect little tale.  I think we, as writers, like to hold that ammo in reserve just in case we’re met with poor reviews.  We love our stories, otherwise we wouldn’t write them.  I’m in the camp of literary theorists that believe that each character is a small facet of the author and is imbued with a glimmer of their creator.  So, yeah, it might hurt when someone unleashes a truckload of manure on my first or second or even third draft.  But as we all know, manure is a great fertilizer… and fertilizer makes for awesome explosions. 

GEEKHAVEN #2